Well, we’re old jockey shorts. This is our view on life.
(Jockey shorts = Underwear)
This blog is a long conversation. Its starts at post One.
Err.. Read Upwards?
Blue in the Time Warp:
I was in some other world. Was it a parallel universe? Was it a parallel Earth? No…it was too small to be another Earth. But whatever it was, it was wonderful. It was nothing like Earth. The planet was called Alfeer.
Alfeer…the first time you lay your eyes on Alfeer, you’re spellbound by it’s beauty. God must have let his artistic self free when creating this planet. Alfeer was a transparent planet. It was like the whole planet was made of glass. You could see the other side of the planet. The inhabitants of Alfeer looked very much like the humans. Seeing an alien among them they were all terrified. They thought I was a supernatural being…a messenger from the Almighty. I thought maybe God did send me here as a messenger. So at the behest of the Alfeerians I became their king and agreed to rule the planet. I ruled the planet for a little more than two years during which I annexed the remaining few rebel states and ruled the whole of Alfeer justly. I brought peace and prosperity to the planet and the Alfeerians lived in peace. They started writing poems, ballads and stories about my bravery and righteousness. I was happy too…I was finally recognised. My talents and skills were acknowledged and worshipped. I was a living legend. But then, just when I was about to rename the planet after myself I find myself back in this closet.
Oh! I haven’t been gone for more than two hours?…Ah…Maybe time ticks slower in the other universe.
(Actually, I had just fallen to the bottom shelf of the closet. But I sensed an oppurtunity here to get back at Grey and his stories. So, I narrated the above story. Grey believed it, not sure about Teal though…)
Grey Says:
Blue was conspicuously trying to gather dust in the corner. Teal was being hypnotized by Zantar’s now disheartening spirit. I still do not know Green exists because she hasn’t come into the closet.
I was lying on my musty shelf, as the pale blue cold enveloped me. Suddenly, the ground started to shake! Teal was shocked and scared. I decided to take charge and lead my team through the dangerous journey filled with many profound experiences. Teal, my first mate, started to pull in new recruits. Preparations were being made. The ground still shook. We were loosing our firm grip. As we we set off, we called Blue to the forefront of our expedition. Blue awoke with a start, ceasing his loud snore.
And the ground stopped shaking.
We congratulated each other on a fruitful mission.
And Blue fell through a time warp. He was missed.
Teal claimed his corner.
Zantar’s spirit being terribly ignored, tried to make itself heard by creating a loud rukus just outside the room. It was “un-politely” told to bugger off. In a final desperate attempt, it summoned Blue from the depths of the time vortex on top of teal.
Teal sighed. Blue looked dazed and tried to chew on Teal. I returned to resting on my shelf.
Blue Tells A Story:
I was playing ‘Elastic Elastic’ with Grey and Teal, when… I had a vision. Time stopped. Everything stopped. Everything was absolutely still..even Teal who was half stretched. Zartan’s spirit appeared out of nowhere and said, “Pack your bags and head out, Blue, my blue-eyed boy…er…my blue-bodied boy. Beyond the ‘Land of the Warring Baboons’ you will find the ‘Additional Land of the Still Warring Baboons’. Cross that and you will unearth what rightfully belongs to you. This is your destiny…”
And so I headed out in search of my destiny. Excited to be meeting the unknown, frightened at the hostilities awaiting, confident that I’ll overcome them at any cost…and safe in the knowledge that I can always run the other way if I can’t. I travelled day and night, through wind and rain, through hail and snow, through jungles and deserts, through mountains and grasslands, over land and water and finally reached the ‘Land of the Warring Baboons’.
Land of the Warring Baboons, as the name implies, is a land of baboons that wre constantly at war with each other. They are a violent race who wouldn’t think twice about beating up anybody. Crossing it would be no mean task …if I could do it at all. I decided to try and keep a low profile and be as inconspicuous as I could. Baboons are very sensitive about their ischail callosities…in layman terms-their protruding hindquarters. I discovered this the hard way. I made a remark about a baboon with a particularly large rear…and that was provocation enough. They pounced on me and started thrashing me black and blue (more blue than I already was). I was screaming for my life. They were stronger and more in number…I saw the whole of my life flash past me. So this was how it was to end. Let it be then. Wait…why did they stop? Why do they look so scared? They’re bowing down to me!! That was when I noticed the tiny speck next to me. It was the flea me and Teal had summoned the other day. Of course…it all fits in. Me screaming must have summoned the flea. And fleas are equivalent to plague as far as baboons are concerned. I thanked Tarzan and Zartan and the flea whom I named Spiffy. The baboons offered to escort us wherever we wished to go. I accepted their offer and so they escorted us till ‘The Additional Land of the Still Warring Baboons’. The story had spread like wildfire and there was a peace offering with another escort waiting for us in the Additional Land of the Still Warring Baboons (ALSWAB). And so, myself and Spiffy made our way to the end of the ALSWAB safe and sound and in one piece.
Beyond ALSWAB, beyond the horizon, I knew that destiny was waiting for me. We hurried. There…on a boulder was another flea. It was love at first sight for Spiffy. I realised that I would not find anything if I went any further. This is what destiny had in store for me. I had had an adventure of a lifetime, found myself a true friend, helped him find his love and in the process had found true happiness myself.
(Green)
Green let the wind play with her frayed edges.
The sun was just beginning to edge out of sight.
The clock’s hand was inching towards the hour known for it’s absurdity.
A bird was flying contentedly, eyes half closed when it happened to notice a fleck of green on a cloud.
It turned lightly and flew closer for a better look.
Green observed the bird with interest.
She wanted to stroke her chin; she cursed her anatomy.
The little boy who had spotted Green on a cloud earlier that day led a normal life. He ran around aimlessly, kicked stones aimlessly and couldn’t tie his shoelaces yet.
He was out in his backyard swing, swinging aimlessly.
He then noticed a bird in the sky with a green jockey dangling lightly from it’s beak.
Green wanted to file her fingernails and look suave. She cursed her anatomy again.
The little boy’s swing slowed to a stop.
Green thought looking smug suited her very well.
Teal says:
Tarzan’s jockey came to be known as the pickawaka. The paraders claim it has strange hypnotic powers that seemed to lure the inhabitants of the village towards it, almost like a moth to a flame.
The ancestors warned the women not to look in his direction for it could only lead to terror of the mind …
Teal says:
Grey has a hidden talent! He writes poetry that captivates the mind! It is a very rare thing as you may or may not get it once a year on your birthday!
Grey Says:
Ah The Jumbawaka Paraders. Ah Tarzan.
An ancient legend.
Zantar! The jockey of Tarzan.
Once upon a time, in a forest in Congo, lived Gorillai. There were innumerable and magnificent. They were simple and kind, but knew nothing of clothing. They lived a spiritual and serene life. Their god was Zantar.
Zantar! The first of our kind. Made of animal hide and imbibed with the holy powers of the witch-doctors. He was our ideal, the one who made the past and inscribed the future. He was known to have recovered from tatters in but three days since he was mauled by a vicious South African Boer.
Tarzan was found, as were all the children of the Gorillai. But Tarzan was special. He wasn’t a like any of the Gorillai. They consulted the wisest and oldest of the tribe. She recalled the old tales and nibbled on a leaf. She chanted and lost herself in a trance. Fifteen days later, awakened by the scent of Zantar, she spoke. “Place this leafti in Zantar!”
And they did.
Tarzan grew up, and was proclaimed their living god. As his first act, he created a language. It spread far and wide.
Later he died.
And Zantar was eaten by Hyenas.
But the story lived on. And the Jumbawaka Paraders grew to despise it. They created their own language.
Their ancient script and tale was preserved on a reliable stone.
The dust of which still lingers in my folds.
“wakakiki!”
For the general ignoramus:
gorillai (greek) : tribe of hairy women
boer : south african goat
Blue Says:
Yes..our own language.We are trying to complete the language in which Tarzan was a pioneer(remember him shouting and beating his chest at the same time?).The jockey he wore was one of our ancestors.And rumour has it that the language is understood and obeyed by animals if spoken right.Me and Teal tried to summon all the insects in the neighbourhood.After an hour of straining our voice boxes we finally managed to summon a flea.
PS to Teal:Katumi te kulujiriii kizumeaaa no kishiari
Green flits by.
“Look Mommy, I just saw a green jockey on a cloud!”
Green looked smug.
